... for fuckin' hot chicks
...for fuckin' bonin' some skanks
...for fuckin' with you head
...for fuckin' pounding fat pigs
...for fuckin' pounding down drinks
...for fuckin' eating my fuckin' ball-bag
...for fuckin' screaming YANKEES SUCK!
...for fuckin' munching sweet girl gash
...for fuckin' blowing your mind
...for fuckin' motorboatin' many MILFS
...for fuckin' fuckin' a fuckin' fuck
...for fuckin' teabaggin' the neighbor's dog
...for fuckin' diggin' 2 Black Crowes shows
...for fuckin' melting mad brain cells
...for fuckin' fistin' fuckpuppets
...for fuckin' feeding the cumguppies
AND MOST IMPORTANTLY:
...FOR FUCKIN' GIVIN' YOU THE BEST THAT I GOT!
Yep... the best of the BangedUP world is waiting down below for you FUCKS. Sweet remixes and various meats are lurking. Go get 'em. ~FTW~ Sick "FUCKIN" Bastard
Check all this FUCKIN' out! $1 spent gets you a nice trial membership! DO IT! __
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And hey- if you can't do the fuckin'... FEEL FREE TO DO SOME SUCKIN'!
I knew I could fuckin' do it! Proof is below if you don't fuckin' believe i'm capabkle of anything other than a tgiFU!pdate. Shiiiiit... I'm so proud of myself I'm gonna smack my meatpuppet into red-helmetted-oblivion! Dig the HUMP Day fiasco and get your Bangedup Boogie ON!
50 More Ways To Say: I Love YOU! the BangedUp WAY of course!!!
If you love those jugs, touch them with your mouse and click on them to see much much more.
Seriously, I really do want to update everyday, but I've having too much fun with the flow of huge Friday updates lately. But now that I have some more good shit (clips/ pics, etc..) saved up, I'll PROBABLY update a time or 2 extra next week. Gotta keep you coming back on days other than Friday's right?
Hey, if you requested stickers from us, we'll be snding them out next week, so shut the fuck up and chill. After all, free is rarely fast.
Speakig of fast- hey, LA! where'd you go so damn quickly? Fuckin' left coast poser-punks can't hang with the REAL coast! Yeahhhh... the RIGHT COAST, fuckos!! If i had a cool East Coast gang sign I'd throw it up right about now. But I am a one man fuckin' gang. A tower of power! An instruction on destruction! A raging horn of PORN! And I bring it HARD with THIS tgiFU! update! 50 smacks across your brain's face in this one. Lick it all up below.
Why don't you tell us about it? Ladies, time for to chime in to me, your pal Sick Bastard. Let's hear some stories about some crazy sexcapes you've had. I want stories telling me about how a frat ran a train on you in college. Or the time that the guy you scooped at the all-night laundromat almost put your head through wall from fucking you so hard. LETS HEAR SOME CRAZY SEX STORIES!! Best ones will get some free Bangedup panties for their efforts. Just e-mail me the det's ---> Sick Bastard's e-mail.
I told you fucks a while ago about the best line I ever heard from a chick. After I fucked the snot outta her friend, this chick came down stairs into our room and says: "wow... so-and-so fucked my SO HARD my tits hurt!" Never have better words been uttered from a fuck-puppet's mouth! My boy fucked her so hard her cans were running circles around her chest all night. Gotta love it!
Here's to fuckin'!!!
I'm gonna fuck all of you- RIGHT NOW! 'Cuz there's a new batch of mind-fuck down below. Get naked and fuckin' dive right in!
Business Before Pleasure Business: The fun part of running a free site is begging for you di=ouchebags to spend a little on our sponsors so that we can pay the bills.
Well, Friday is BONUS day from a lot of our sponsors! So basically we make extra loot from them to keep Bangedup running FREE! Here's the some of the best- SIGN UP FOR ONE OR A COUPLE TO HELP THE CAUSE, FUCKOS!!
And also don't forget to click on any of the hot banners you see on the left and right sides of our site!
Pleasure: Celts whoopin' ass was pleasure. Coco Crisp beating up 15 pussy-assed Tampa Gay Rays... was pleasure. THIS UPDATE--- now that's some fuckin' pleasure!! Weekend rolls out with a brew and some Bangedup to wash it all down. I'm bringin' some good shit to this one. it's a sexy mix, so get your hands down your pants and HIT IT!
If you missed the mid-week updates, that's defintely got some spankablility to it. As always, roam the archives for all the Bangedup craziness you missed. Got 5 years worth of our 10 years existence hiding out in there. Bored, you will never be... thanks to your boy SB! ~FTW~ Sick Bastard
Mid week updates always have me thinking about what I can do a little different from my usual GREAT weekend update full of everything crazy. Well, after stumbling onto a bunch of "similar"(but NOT) pictures, my great brain developed a theme I can stretch out. This theme I'd like to stretch out is- CUNT.
Yes, I said I'd like to stretch out some cunts.
And I'm stretching them out below- in all shapes and sizes, as only a Sick Bastard can stretch them out. So enjoy...
You guys see Amy Reid before? Holy fuckin' HOTNESS! Awesome real tittes and she fucks like your mom on cocaine and skittles- but wayyy cuter! Check her and some other amazing fuckpuppets out here:
And, (FUCK I ALMOST FORGOT!)... Celtics win in 6 games over those Left Coast fagtrappers known as the LA Lakers. Kobe's gonna be so upset that he'll have to run to his rape-whore in Denver and bend her over the couch again (after she's already fucked a dude earler the same day!! GUHHH!). GO CELTS! BEAT LA!
Friday update rolls out ton well- FRIDAY, you idiot! Chocked full with the the usual unusualness of whateverthefuckin'fuck.
~FTW~ Sick Bastard
(JUNE 3rd NOTE: MID WEEK UPDATE WILL ROLL OUT! In a few... Sick B)
FUCK THE FAKERS... WE WANT THE LAKERS! Detroit PISStons = posers, treading water little bitches. Beat it, shitheads! We want the fuckin' REAL DEAL glamour fucks from Cali-forn-I-fuckin'-A!!!
Can I just tell you- as a young li'l douche in the '80's, I grew up knowing one thing: "I HATE LA!". (and "BEAT LA!)
Well, I also knew that repetitive motion on my piss-pump made penis-puddin'! But anyways...
The Yankmees were too shitty to give 2 craps about back then, so we had the Celts and Lakers bitter rivalry. man, I hated those cocky showtime fucks with everything I had. They were eveything Boston wasn't- the flash, the Hollywood, the glamour of jack sitting court-side. Plus they were like black and fast! So our honkey-ass couldn't cover 'em too well! BUT, we won plenty against them. Plu8s, Larry Bird rules and does NOT have the HIV, so we're better off long-term.
So, anyways, glad to have LA back in my bulls-eye, 'cuz god-knows the Yankees are just flat-out too terrible to even bother making fun of anymore. Kind of like picking on a retard for not being able to spell and chew gum or some shit.
I'D LIKE TO MEMORIALIZE YO' MAMA'S STEAMED-CLAM ALL WEEKEND
Word. Memorial Day is here! Long weekend, massive parties, chicks tuggin' at my suckpump, and whiffle ball tournaments! Yeah, fuckos- SUMMER IS HERE!
Time for sun-n-fun and me working even LESS! MUahhh haaaaa haaaaaa!
Just funnin' wit ya. I ALWAYS work hard to bring you the Bangedup world as seen through my sick mind. This update is now different. Got some nice Memorial Day treats to get us all started ioff on the right fuckin' foot.
Hey! YOU! get your cock off on the right foot (HUH?) by checking out some of the brand new, never before seen or promoted $1 DOLLAR SITES!
So, hey- party it up, and semnd us in your best/ nastiest/ craziest/ sexiest/ shittiest pics of those parties!! C'mon you pussies!! STEP UP! And show us what you got out there!!!
And yes, even though the Celts lost one at home, Detroit still mega-fuckin' sucks. Celts will return the favor and win one back in the schMoTown. Eat me. ~FTW~ Sick "no middle name today" Bastard
CHECK MY GIRL OUT! HOLY FUCK! Check this HOT NEW site!
May 26th note: Happy MAMMORY-al Day! Just funnin'. a Bangedup fuckin' salute to all those that have moved on from this BangedUP-world we all are still stuck in. Thanks especially to the bad-asses who defended our FREEDOM to be SICK BASTARDS in this flawed but still-GREATEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD. Thanks. Added a "cartoon" below to remind you all what the fuck is really up. Sick Bastard
BRAND NEW KICK-ASS $1 DOLLAR SITES FOR YOU! Sick B here with a killer Friday offer for YOU---> I found some brand new, never before promoted $1 DOLLAR SITES!
BRING ON THE PISS-TONS!
If there's one thing I hate more than Detroit, it's wasting my time talking about the shithole! But I must, 'cuz the Piss-tons are coming to Boston. So I figured I'd take the time to welcome you fucks to the beatdown the Celts are gonna give Mo-town. RASHEED WALLACE EATS YO MAMA'S DOUCHEBAG FO' BREAKFAST!
40 FO' FRIDAY! Much like KG(I SHOULDA SAID: PIERCE!) is going to do to the Cleveland Cavaliers tonight... I'm gonna drop 40 on YOU!
Yep, super-killer TGIfu! update lurks below the surface of my superfluous blather. I'm pretty sure like 2 of you actually read what I write here and just go straight to the shit below. BUT, I'll keep my blind faith that some of you fucks DO give a shit about the blog part of this site, and write on...
Anyone find it more than a little banged-up that the US is more involved in the Patriot's Spygate saga than, oh--- I don't know... say... 2 x 100,000-casualty natural-disasters in the world??? And in the span of 1 week no less! I'm thinking maybe becasue the countries where these events happened (China and Burma) are less than cooperative with their media outlets and Government's sharing info, that we're just not getting the: "oh shit! look at those picutres! why don't we help!" reaction over here in the West.
I think at the very least John Mayer, Master P, Dolly Parton, the non-dead-suicided dude from Milli Vanilli, Paris Hilton's "gash", Celine Dion, Udo Dirkschneider(F YEAH!), Donna Summer, Air Supply, Avril Lavigne's left nipple (mmmm!), Scott Stapp, Phil Collins' ass-crack toupe', Don Johnson, Rob Halford's boyfriend, and Rick James' corpse should band together to form a Souper-Group and write a song... NO! WAIT! We need A FUCKIN' ANTHEM to make money for the disastered peoples of our great planet. Something like this: You know Burma is a place.... I don't really know their fuckin' race... But I know so many died, And that morning... I cried. But we gotta raise up strong- AND MAKE MONEY FROM THIS SONNNNNNG!!!!
(chorus) Let's blowwwwww-dry Burma... for a drier day! Let's blowwwwww-dry Burma... We gotta find a wayyyyy! Together we are singin' one big songgggg... So, that Burma will dry out their gras huts, AND GROW STRONG!
Oh, and we'd need Bob Geldoff their for leadership skills, 'cuz he's always in on all the great funraising songs and stuff. I'm not sure which "star" will sing which line yet, but it's a start... FOR A FUTURE!
Shiiiiit, you don't EVEN wanna hear the song I write for China! BAH! The Monday or Tuesday Banged-update will have that one.
Stay strong, Burma and China... stay strong. And remember China- this catastrophic event has NOTHING to do with the Karma from butchering the most harmless and peaceful people on the Earth from Tibet.
No....., of course not.
Well, not all of us can help Burma grow strong... but you can help your porn collection grow much stronger!! Check the goods at our new favorite site!!! IT'S A MIRACLE THESE HOT CHICKS DON'T GET SPLIT IN HALF BY THESE GIANT COCKS! CLICK TO SEE WHAT I MEAN!
Sweet update below to fill the midweek blahs. Or at least to take your mind off the empending Armageddon that has surely started (see China and Burma!) I say: BRING IT THE FUCK ON. ~FTW~ Sick Bastard
HOT NEW SITE ALERT! IT'S A MIRACLE THESE HOT CHICKS DON'T GET SPLIT IN HALF BY THESE GIANT COCKS! CLICK TO SEE WHAT I MEAN!
By the way- I ain't the disease... but I sure-as-fuck ain't the cure!
But rather of far smaller and mcuh more dangerous. As in- A FUCKIN' TICK!
My maladies have been well documented on bangedup, and usually it consists of me just being drunk or hung-over with a fat chick stuck to my dink. But this was is much more bizarre.
So, last update featured my poison Oak/ Sumac or whatever rash going on. And the shit still itches. Not oo many open sores or anything but rather a bazillion little bums under or right on the skin surface DRIVING ME NUTS!
OK, so.. I was droppin' wolf-bait yesterday on the can, when I looked down into my ITCHY-AS-FUCK belly-button and saw a little black dot in there. I thought- lint? Dried cum stuck to lint? No worries. So I just flicked whatever it was away- OR SO I THOUGHT! After squeezing out another stewed prune log, I looked down and noticed the "dot" was still there. Upon closer inspection I noticed it was a fuckin' imbedded tick inside my actual belly-button cavern! WTF!!!!!!!
First, poison something-or-other itchies and now fuckin' parasites invading my orafices imbedding diseases into my shrine-of-abody! How dare nature fuck with me so!!! My revenge will be strong, swift, and relentless! I may fly to South America and burn a forest- complete with a tribe's-full of little bush peoples and herd of endangered Yak babies! FUCK YOU MOTHER NATURE! You get no gifts from me on Sunday (aka: Momma's Day, yo). But, luckily, YOUR Mom will probably get a gift in the middle of the night down the back of her throat! Just don't expect breakfast on Sunday.
See how other Momma's roll at THIS awesome NEW site full of desperate fuckin' housewives! Eat 'em up! HOLY FUCK! Check this HOT NEW site!
New TGIFU! update below. Good one too, so all you MOTHER FUCKIN' FUCKERS should love me longtime for my gift to you. If not, eat me.
THE ITCHY AND SCRATCHY SHOW FUCKIN' FUCK FUCK! I have NEVER been allergic to anythig in my entire life... until this past week. I don't know what the fuck i was diggin' up in the BangedUP forrest behind my house, but I now have like jungle herpes all over my ankles wrists... and ears? WTF!
And it itches like a mutha-fuckin' MUTHA FUCKA! So all week instead of jerkin' off and ridin' the waves of interwebs surfing sessions, I've been washing body parts after I itch them to some sort of ooze. You never realise how important jerkin'-off is until YOU CAN'T DO IT! Well, not that I can't, but i shouldn't, 'cuz that is the last fuckin' spot I want more bumps or oozing to occur! Got plenty already, bitches! (YEAH! Who wants some!)
But I did overcum my problem. With scientific stealth and warm-handed patience I managed to stealthly knock a few out. Here's how!
First, get your body into a non-itchy state. So either itch the shit outta yourself for a good 300 seconds straight or just apply some Calamine lotion or some shit. For me, the itchin' is a bitchin'! So, I scratch. OK, that by itself is almost orgasmic... but I want MORE! Yes- MILK MUSCLE MADNESS! Anyways, take your hand into the oh-so-wanting sink and wash the fuck outta it with lots o' soap and hot water. 2 things get done here- you clean you shitty mitt, AND you warm the fuck outta your palm. Next... DO NOT TOUCH OOZING SORES WITH WARM CLEAN HAND! I was walking that thing from my bathroom to my "office" like I was holding the fuckin' Hope Diamond or something! Never even breathed on the thing! next, with left hand reach over and click "PLAY" to pre-set porn... THEN LET THE GOOD TIMES CUM! The joy of a warm clean palm is not to be underestimated. While still ranking behind giving yourself "The Stranger" technique, it is still quite nice. And let's face it, when you drop penis puddin', the whole bodu is sooooothed.
Let's all drop a few to this tasty update I have assembled, no? I think you might.
I also think you might like this brand new site of AMATEUR WIVES getting BANGED in some CRAZY WAYS! HOLY FUCK! Check this HOT NEW site!
Bang ON, fuckos! Dig the new.... ~FTW~ Sick Bastard
Stimulus CHECKS that is. America's favorite redneck electable fuckpile, G DUB-uh-yuh Bush, has the plan to stimulate us where we like it. Yeahhhhhhhh!! Down deep... right in the mid-section.... just below your belt. Ooooooh, baby! YEAH!! Righ
